This week we celebrate Easter. Christ did an amazing thing for me (and you, but i can not speak for you). He took my sins and died on the cross for ME! I want to take that all in. I want to really, really be in "awe" about it. I want to think about God's Son, Jesus doing that for me, He knew me back then. He knew you.
For several years I have ask my girls to participate on Good Friday in 6 hours of reverance to Jesus (6 hours is the length he hung on the cross, I have for years believed). We have done service projects, we have gone to the beach and read our bibles, we have gone our separate ways,too, some years. I have come to realize i can no longer ask my girls to do this...they are all grown up. It is now up to them to choose how to spend Good Fridy. I can pray for them. I can pray that they understand why i have ask them to do it for so many years. I can only ask myself that. Why only Good Friday...I need to pray I do something everyday...not just 10 minutes here or there. Jesus deserves more of me. I want to remember what Francis Chan said..."tremble at just holding the bible, reading the bible, remembering who wrote it/inspired it." So this Friday I will do this by myself (or maybe not?).
Another subject..Better me...
I also want to comment on this...I hear about people getting cancer and it making them a "better person, a better spouse, a better mom/dad, a better co-worker, a better friend, a better son/daughter, etc" I do not want to get cancer to do this. I want to be better NOW. I want my girls to see me for who I am... a broken person but healed by Jesus, forgiven by Jesus, loved unconditionally by Jesus...I want them to see Jesus in me. But do they? Does Brian? Do my friends? Do strangers?
To my girls I ask...how can i be better to you, for you? Ask me now, don't wait. What do you want to know? What have I not told you? I don't want it to be in a letter. I want you to freely come to me and open up to me and tell me "how I can be better, how I can serve you better. Do not wait.
To my friends I ask the same...how can i pray for you? serve you? be there for you? be Jesus with skin on? I don't want to just talk the walk, i want to walk it. Forgive me...I struggle at this. But please don't let cancer teach me to be a better me...tell me how i can now...do not wait.
If Brian read my blog I would want him to tell me to. How I could be a better spouse/friend to him.
To anyone out there....take the time...give up texting, facebook (i blog) to reach out to your loved ones. i want to give up my selfish motives and be a better me to you....let us not wait! Do this for yourself.
Jesus took the time to give me a chance to be a better person...by going to the cross and dying for my sins. I became a better person the day i accepted Him into my heart. I don't want any of you to wait...He can make you a better person, today!
The gift is free. It is Jesus. Jesus wants me to be a better me, too. It starts with Him, getting my life back in line with His Word. Sharing His Word with others.
Have I made sense?
My mom's death will be 4 years 4/26. Do I graduate now? from grief? move on? another blog subject, not now. Focus on Easter!!! LIFE!!!