Saturday, August 22, 2009

She won't be home for dinner...

"She won't be home for dinner"... is the t-shirt i am presently wearing and it describes my present situation. I don't really have a t-shirt but i come up with great "potential" shirts for people who ask me "what's up" or "how are you doing" t-shirt tells them.

The 'she won't be home for dinner' t-shirt is about my daughter, Megan, who just moved out! Saying the statement above sums up a whole lot of feelings and facts.

Feelings: sadness, happiness, excitement, proud, joyful, wonderment, contentment, peace, lonliness, some anxiousness, tearful, and many more.

Facts: she has moved out of the back bedroom...well not completely but close. she is an 1 1/2 hr away in Ft. Myers. Atleast it is not Montana! It is a drivable distance to visit but far enough not to just "drop in". (wish it was today!) She is doing what she has worked so hard for the past 5+ years. Teaching kids with Special learning needs. She seems happy and excited. She looks busy and has a full plate. Some 60+students in the 6,7,8 grade-teaching ESE science. She will do fine. The Lord has her in His hands. I need to trust in her Creator! not the one that 'carried' her (me!).

So what does your t-shirt say? I have had others that have said this: "stay at the corner"; "breathe"; "my straight jacket is pink and yours?"; and others.

Hope you have a fun filled day full of facts and feelings! But the greatest fact is "My Jesus loves me, sustains me, holds me, loves me unconditionally, hugs me, dries my tears, keeps them in a jar, cries with me, laughs with me, and defeats the lies of the bad guy!" May Jesus do the same for you...He already is!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

to be or not to be...this is my quest? or question?

hey there.
Wow...i love to check my blog and see comments. when i do i blog! okay so i am just now checking to see if comments and it is the 20th! and the comments were a wee bit ago! (alittle irish accent for my wee friends) smile!

To be....a godly friend, mom, wife, and stranger to all
To the Word daily. Just started a journal "The Busy Mom's Guide to Prayer" by Lisa Whelchel.

To be....there for my girls.
To be....more patient and less controlling...whew...that needs to be in caps!
To be....NOT to busy to help a friend, to pray, or be there for my family.
To be... a good listner to God's calling and His will in my life.
To and laugh often.
To person God desires. and see His creation in me and embrass it!
To be....spontaneous and gracious.
To be....thankful for the blessings God gives.
To and not joyless.
To be....a creative craftor cuz i love to craft! (dawn you should see my journals!)
To be....always in prayer and more on my knees in prayer.
To be....less in love with food and more in love with Jesus to "fill" me!
To be....on my bike, running, swimming as if i am going to do another tri.
To be....there, anywhere, always aware, always there for You.
To be....loving, gracious, giving, generous, encouraging, creative to those around me.

to the moment. too see the gift of that moment. to love and cherish it!
To the Lord. Oh, how i need to work on this. sacturation.
Not to be...demanding.
Not to be...unnoticing.
Not to be...controlling.
Not to be...searching for food to fill me and not Christ.
Not to busy for quiet time.
Not to be...anxious when I know God is in control.
Not to be...a constant "reminder" to my girls they "hate" to be reminded. I need to trust they will get it done!(oh that is the controlling disease in me!)

Not to be...wondering what the pool feels like and just jump in somedays!
Not to be...concerned with me..let God do that.
Not to busy "not to be" on my knees for my friends, family, strangers in prayer more.
Not to be...crafting when i know it brings me joy and hopefully others when i give them a "happy surprise" created by me.

Not to be...always wondering why?
Not to be...always regretting the things i didn't get done, but trust God in HIS timing.

Not to be...what others want me to be, but what God wants me to be.
Not to busy to blog, cuz it really is therapuetic.(sp?)
Not to be...making this list longer than the "TO BE" list!!! ha!!

so what are your "to be's" and "not to be's". I am crazy but sometimes i think i am not such a bad "blogger"/writer. Nah....blah, blah, blah!

love you keep me blogging. And yes there is a Megan story coming.

BTW...she is doing GREAT. She is really doing great. I get to go tomorrow, friday, and help her with her room. yeah. I miss her sooo much. that is why i can not blog about the experience i get all blurried (teary) eyes!

see you. love you. need you. love the moments...every moment is a blessing!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

it is Aug 9th and 10pm: bedtime and i'm blogging?

I'm sorry. Truly sorry to the few bloggers that read me. I feel like Rip Van Winkle and i just woke and realized summer is over. But it really is. A week from today my world will change alot! Megan (our oldest) will have moved out and started her "Real World" teaching job (okay that is a blog story of its own) and our youngest Molly will begin her Senior year in High School. Way too much for me to process! Way too many "on hold" tears in the tear ducts (sp?). So what am i to do? Lean on Jesus. Follow Jesus. Let Him fill yet another jar of tears marked "Betsy's".

I want to....Learn more about Him. Yearn more from Him.

I will have so much on my "to do" list while my house is very, very empty. I need to read Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Because Molly has practically begged me to read all summer. Get back to the Y and swim. Get back on my bike and ride. Get those lbs off me. But really i want to study God's word while my house is silent. I want to listen to Him. "Be still" as scripture tells us.

I want to truly worship Him 7 days a weeks. So that my life becomes saturated with Him. My mind becomes saturated with Jesus. I know a select few that i could say they are "saturated" with Jesus. Blessed they are. but that is because they have read and studied God's word.

I have given up on re-do's in my life. I just know I have precious "moments" that are gifts from God. I need to be "in those moments" and seek to see what God whats me to do with them. Use them for Him.

So as i start to blog again. (yeah right, no really) I challenge myself to read this entry often...very often. and do as it says. be a good example for my girls. it is not too late. tomorrow is a new day. Praise God for Grace!

good night my sweet Jesus. Be with my friends. Bless them this evening or day. Let us see the blessings and be glad in them!

working on saturation...